"Best of"

As I am too mentally overwhelmed by my most recent clumsy quarrel with jetlag to put together a series of rational thoughts, I have instead created the blog version of a lazily assembled “best of” sitcom episode - the random thoughts post. Since arrival in HK, I have been noting randomly stumbled upon interesting details, with the implied purpose of someday putting them in the blog. So, as to not leave my dozens of fans wanting, I give you… random observations.

Fried Egg on Club Sandwich: Anyone who knows me well, knows that when I am around a club sandwich, I become a man who used to be watching what he eats (... because I need three pieces of bread with my bacon and processed lunch meats). In Hong Kong when you order a club sandwich, of any variety, it comes toped with a well-peppered fried egg = Pure delight. For some assumedly subconscious reason I have a feeling that Matt Kerzner would love this… something about a Fat Moon.

Burping is Not Rude: Regardless of setting, office or formal dinner, burping is not considered rude in Hong Kong (I am not sure about the rest of China or Asia). Local cultural standards do not require an obligatory “excuse me” when letting loose an arrant or even purposeful belch in public. However, it is considered rude to rest chopsticks sticking straight up in a bowl of rice. I am still getting used to not giggling like Butthead when passing a grossly belching women and struggle to find a better cradle for my chopsticks between bites.

Average Step: While walking up a set of stairs to a train platform I felt that the average size of each stair seems smaller than those in the US. Feeling this could easily be a misestimation I did some research. My feelings were validated (thanks to Yahoo! Answers). The average height of a step on the average set of stairs in the average public area in HK is indeed smaller than the standard measurement we use in the States. I can only hypothesize that this inconsistency is a result of the slightly shorter average height in Asia (no research confirmed this).

Thinner Seats on Airlines: Along the same lines as the above step conundrum. I had the pleasure of riding one of Asia’s premier airlines, Cathay Pacific. Relative to a big-box sky liner from the States, a trip on Cathay Pacific is like an island holiday (ok, it is at least like a night in the Syosset Marriott). On a Cathay Pacific flight the food is not just edible, but good, and the staff is not just angrily serving ginger ale, they are friendly. However, there is one snag in the Cathay Pacific stockings: the seats are too thin. While most Asian men fit perfectly, I need about 3 extra inches on either side of my shoulders. There is no way to cure what ails me in this case, so… moving on.

Speedy and Energy Saving People Moving: Escalators are faster; it is immediately noticeable, and upon return to the US I felt the escalators were painfully slow. However, the most interesting thing about escalators is when they are off (insert Mitch Hedberg joke here, RIP). In an effort to save energy, additional escalators are deliberately turned off during times of low traffic. When closed, a green sign is strung across the entrance of the escalator reading, in English and what I can only assume is Chinese, “Escalator Closed: Energy Saving J”.

It’s the little things.

Peace and Feng Shui,

Far East Coast Gross